Saturday, December 21, 2013


Lately I’ve had several conversations about whether or not it’s possible to be “cool” when you’re middle aged. One conversation was simply "does cool exist?" Whether it exists is a diatribe and I’m only up for a short tribe right now. I started thinking about “cool” while pondering some gorgeous young women with face tattoos. Kat Von D comes to mind. In case you’re not cool enough to know who she is I included a picture here.


She’s gorgeous right? And oh so cool. She shot to fame with some kind of tattoo reality show and before you know it all kinds of beautiful young (young in case you missed that) women were copying her. Edgy is cool. Kat Von D is cool and edgy. Tattoos on a back, shoulder or ankle, have become main stream. Even old people, like forty year olds, were getting them. What’s next? Face tattoos! The truly cool edgy girls all have them. And I thank the universe they weren’t popular when I was young or I’d have one now. Me and Mike Tyson.
This isn’t a “they'll regret it when they look for work” or “they’ll regret it when things start to sag” invective. It’s “they’ll regret it when they’re too old to be cool and still young enough to care what they look like”. They don’t know it yet but too old for cool is a blink away.
I found this picture online

And thought “She doesn’t know that eighty isn’t the magic number. It’s somewhere between forty and fifty.”

It’s when her priorities change. Which happens just about the time her metabolism begins to slow down and none of the “clubs” play music she likes. She’s too young to know that someday she’ll look back at those sexy facebook selfies and think that being beautiful didn't change her life. She won't care anymore about posting the perfect picture of her rocking the cute bikini.

 Instead she’ll care about mammograms because her mother died of breast cancer and it was ugly. She’ll think about planning for retirement. Because at fifty she’s already been working for twenty five years. Her kids are having kids and need her help. Maybe she’s lost a child. No one thinks about cool then. And by now life has taught her that the cute drummer in the band at the local bar isn’t a rock star. He's a manager at Best Buy.
She still wants to look good. She still cares if her jeans fit or her hair is going gray. She cares if her husband or the man she’s dating thinks she’s sexy. She cares that her cleavage is wrinkled. When the hell did that happen? She realizes she can't pull off a spandex dress anymore and her favorite very short skirt looks ridiculous. She only wants high heels that don't hurt.

She's letting go of being young and realizes she is no longer cool. But... she hasn't given up on being desirable. That's when she'll care. That is long before eighty.





  1. At 62 and of the baby boomer generation, there are lots of us out there. I still see cool in older women, but it's different, a different style, a different sense of class. It has it's own cool.

    1. I know what you mean about still seeing cool. I think what I mean is more the "need" to be cool. The "need" to feel special somehow. As I age... I just don't need to feel special and unique anymore.